Give Me An E!

Do these look like boys that would completely disrupt a cheerleading class?

You betcha!

The Poopy Party

Yeah you read correctly. In my compromised state yesterday I completely forgot to tell you about the Poopy Party. Eion's friend Trent spent the summer actively resisting potty training much as dear E did. His Mom, Susan, and I spent the whole summer fretting about them getting kicked out of school and graduating high school in pull ups. Finally, it was a happy ending for them both and Susan was so overjoyed that she threw a celebration party - The Poopy Party.

It was at My Gym and Eion had a blast. Unfortunately, he just didn't want the party to end. I had to drag him out of there kicking and screaming.

He spent the rest of the day on tilt. For about an hour after we got home, he refused to come in from the garage. Every time I checked on him, he just silently pointed at the car, indicating the course of action he thought best. Hmmm, boy that can't stand to leave a party. Genetics strikes again?

Struggling After Oktoberfest

Yeah. Today is rough. I must preface with the fact that I had every intention of being completely in check last night. I knew Tim had to work at 7am and I would be solo with the kids so I did not plan to have too much to drink. That being said, someone REALLY should have told me the stout was 8% alcohol so the evenly paced three beers over 4 hours was the equivalent of 9 beers. Good lord.

So Supper Club was a whammer. Ann & Hans were very much in the spirit complete with dirndl and lederhosen.

I tried to get a dirndl on eBay but was outbid. I almost had Tim convinced we should dress as Sprockets but he bailed on me at the last minute. Maybe I should have realized that there were some high octane drinks when at the end of the night this was going on:

as we played some sort of drinking game to ompah music that involved spinning around with your beer over your head. And I don't think I made my road today any easier by staying up playing Rock Band with Ann & Hans until almost 1am. Note to self: when faced with unknown beer products, read the label.

I've Already Got One You See

Maggie's friend Emily had to miss the party last Sunday and her Mom said she was devastated. So to make it up to her, Emily's Mom asked if Maggie could come over for a playdate and go out to ice cream. Maggie may have been more excited about this than her actual birthday.

When they dropped Maggie off, I found out they had played at Emily's house, had ice cream and Maggie received a Build a Bear as a gift. So the generosity of the present just made the next few interactions that much more horrifying.

Emily, her Mom and siblings came in to drop off Maggie. As soon as Morrigan saw the Build a Bear box, she said to Maggie "Since you already have one, you can give this one to me and then we can play BAB together!" Mags, the complete sucker she is, says "Sure!" and I got to watch her give away her $50 birthday gift right in front of the giver. Excellent.

Then as they were leaving, Emily's Mom said to Maggie, "Thanks for coming over today." to which the reply was not thank you or thank you for the ice cream or thank you for the bear but "You're welcome." Pardon me while I go to the other room to die now.

Pants Optional

I can't decide how disturbed I should be that in the past two days we have had two unexpected visitors and when they arrived, Eion was pantless both times.

Thursday Really?

Apparently it is not just the weekends that rocket by. Busy as always.....

Monday: Went to jump rope class where the instructor is trying to lose her baby weight and I think kill us in the process. You know how after a hard workout you are sometimes sore? Well Monday my body didn't even wait for the class to end. My ass started hurting right there in the middle. Someone needs to tell Susan that the rest of us aren't trying to lose baby fat. And even if it is still around, it has been there for 3 1/2 years. We are very comfortable together!

Then it was off to school to bring cupcakes for Maggie's birthday. I was there over lunch and got to see some of the "fun" things parents packed. Now I try not to be too judgemental about this topic as my children's pork consumption is significant (but seriously, you try to pack them a sandwich - they freak out) but some of these lunches were alarming. My favorite was the 2 pop tarts, Cheetos and juice box. At least at my house, none of those items counts as food.

Tuesday: RAMA Welcome Coffee in the morning which I had to leave early since I accidentally scheduled Maggie's 5 year check up for the same morning. (Oh rats....had to miss the Foundation meeting.)

Maggie's appointment went well. She is only in the 90th percentile for height (down from 107th) and seems otherwise healthy. They pricked her finger for a blood draw and I told her to just look away but she sat there the whole time watching them squeeze blood out of her finger. I looked for a second and felt woozy. Maybe a career in medicine? Though Daddy would say to become a dentist....

We also had cheerleading that night. I don't think they have ever been in an activity about which they have been so enthusiastic. But what the hell, I was a cheerleader and I survived.


After cheerleading, I quickly dropped off the kids and headed out for a girls night out. We met for Mexican and then some of the ladies went to see The Women. Clearly, I was not one of those and voted to relocate to The Fork for a beer to make sure the kids were in bed before my return home.

Wednesday: I played tennis in the morning and then tackled my amazingly messy house before picking up the girls. They had tennis after school so Eion and I played tennis on the outside courts. Read: I practiced serving and he rolled in the clay. At first he stood on the other side of the net and said "Hit it to me" as my first half dozen serves tanked into the net. Believe me buddy, I was trying.

After getting the kids off to bed, I was still by myself as Tim didn't get home until almost 10 so I fired up Rock Band (which is becoming an ever more powerful time sucking vortex) and went on Solo Tour. Really, just thinking of the family. You have to go on tour alone to unlock some songs......

Another Weekend Rockets By....

I had to swipe a blog title from Jefferson Street Realist because it is SO true! Friday Night we had Cocktail Club at Lynn & Andrea's. Fun fun fun party out of which I had to drag Tim at midnight. This actually becomes a theme for the weekend as I had to drag him out of just about everything.



Saturday we had to clear out so the housekeeper could come so although we were tired (and struggling just a bit) we went to the gym. Then we pretty much spent the afternoon playing Rock Band which seems like it will be an enormous time suck from here on out. But I am not the only addicted one. Ann called for an unrelated reason and asked what we were doing. When I told her we were playing, she said (not asked) "I'll be right up. I'll bring my guitar." We proceeded to go "on tour" as the Broken Pastries and unlocked many new songs!

That night we had an awesome dinner at Molly & Webb's house. And to no one's surprise, I was dragging Tim out of there well past our bedtime with him protesting all the way "But I still have this bourbon!"

Sunday was all about Maggie as it was the day of her 3 hour party. After we came to terms with the length of the party, we decided to just blow it out. We got a bounce house:

And a magician:

And expanded the guest list to include siblings and some of Eion's friends. I served plenty of beer to entice parents to stay and it worked like a charm! The time actually went by fairly quickly. Maggie and all the kids loved the magician. When she was his "special assistant," he did a trick that he preformed last week at a friend's party (where I discovered said magician.) She mouthed to the other kids, "I knew that was going to happen!" She especially liked the very loud Happy Birthday hat.

We had a Strawberry Shortcake cake.

That had to be kept under careful watch prior to serving.


After the party's official end, we had some parents and kids hang out for a while on the deck and the kids played with all of Maggie's booty.

One of the more coveted gifts (from Sippycups' daughter) was a mini build a bear kit. After the three bears were stuffed, Eion and Connor just cranked out stuffing over and over.

As we cleaned up the massive destruction and tried to restore order after everyone left, I asked Maggie if she had a good time. Naturally her response was to break into tears and say, "I wanted a Pump It Up party!" Good to know our effort and hundreds of dollars were well spent.

Moratorium

Ok. That's it. I am calling for a complete and total moratorium on the early morning kitty hunting expeditions. Maggie is getting up earlier and earlier each day and roaming the halls looking for the cats. She then has a catch and release program where they spend some time in her room and are later set free only to become the hunted once again. The other day I went into their room and Maggie pulled back her covers in surprise, releasing a prisoner cat and exclaiming, "Kitty! How did you get here?" This morning's adventures began at FIVE AM. This has to stop.

Things With Which I Should Not Have To Deal

My children's general disdain for underwear
Really, no mother should have to answer the question "Do I have to wear my underwear the entire time." What the hell. Are my daughters channeling Paris Hilton and in this other world they occupy their evil nemesis is undergarments?

My son's multiple personalities
He wore a hand me down shirt from Connor and refused to answer to his own name for days. I warned his teacher and she thought I was insane but later agreed he would not respond to his given name. And while that was a bit eccentric, it was overall preferred to him adopting his kitty persona. 90% of the time he does not speak but meows. Case in point:

Me: Eion, do you want some Cheerios?
Eion: Meow.
Me: Seriously, do you want Cheerios?
Eion: Meow.

This sh*t goes on all day. And he thinks I can understand him.

My children the mega dorks
They put on their knee and elbow pads to ride their bikes. In the driveway.

Piano teachers who decide to relocate to Omaha
I mentioned offhand that she would have a new piano teacher. I looked at Morrigan and she was struggling not to cry. I gave her a hug and she broke down sobbing. She did not seem at all comforted by the fact that that I was unhappy about having to get on three other piano teacher waiting lists.

Genius!

I made the discovery of a lifetime today. We had back to back fun today with Maggie at ballet and then both girls at cheerleading. It is always a quandary trying to figure out what to do with the other kids while one is at an activity. The ballet waiting room is the worst. Ballet is 45 minutes, which isn't enough time to go home. And I find hanging out there barely tolerable when I am alone. Not even an option with two other kids. So we got in the car and I started aimlessly driving. Then I saw it. Goodwill. It was perfect! Nothing in there is worth much so I can let the kids roam free without fear of massive inventory destruction. To top it off, the kids liked shopping there and yours truly is not above second hand gear. We picked up a dress, 2 shirts (one was Polo) and 8 books for Morrigan for the bargain price of $10. We may be there every week.

After a quick bite to eat, we drove to cheerleading. This is a program offered by Parks and Rec which does mean the Public is welcome but I knew a few other Moms going and with my buffer in place, was willing to take the chance. I spent most of my time in the hallway choing with Eion.

The girls had fun though I think they walked away with the idea we should play "Cheer Mom Says" on a regular basis.

The Public was overall not too bad though I cannot tell you my disappointment that I couldn't get a better shot of this crew:


The picture doesn't do them justice.

Saturday

I knew what kind of day it was going to be when I came downstairs and found this:

Last night we went to the RAMA cocktail party to welcome new docs to town. The first few years we went to this function it was always a bit challenging as we would only know a handful of people. It was always nice but felt like work and you couldn't really call it fun. These days, I know everyone in the room except for the new people and it has become a pretty good time. We were there and headed to The Fork after so I was a wee bit sluggish this morning.

Tim was working all day but I fortunately had an activity planned. The gals did a Parks and Rec program called Eco Explorers. They liked it and were especially motivated when they learned they could earn a brownie badge.

E and I went to the zoo while the girls were busy. He was really remarkably well behaved. I was a bit put out that after I purchased 2 train tickets, he chose to sit with someone else.

But overall, it was a success and he did not completely lose it when we left which may indeed be a first.


Later we invited ourselves over to Ann & Hans' house and crashed their family dinner with her parents. Luckily we do this frequently so her Mom & Dad know us well. While there, we played Rock Band which I found completely awesome! I came home and told Tim we were buying it tomorrow. The kids loved it too so really , I just want to get it for their benefit and not so I can live out my Courtney Love rock fantasies. Promise.

Oh Sh*t

Another Kindergarten Mom came up to me today at pick up and said, "You are so brave to have all those 5 year olds at Maggie's party for three hours." Huh? After I got home I verified that I did indeed invite 20 odd Kindergartners to a party which lasts not the 2 I intended but 3 hours. At my house. And people are so into drop offs. Frak. So far the cost of my inexpensive home party has been upped by the addition of a bounce house and may be further increased by some clown action. I really should have had someone proofread those damn things.

Soundbites From the Big Top

Maggie: We need to keep the kitties' claws nice and long so they can scratch Eion whenever they want.

Morrigan: I want to read a book about blood.

Maggie: Campbell tried to say he was taller than me but he isn't. I'm the tallest in my class.

Me: Isn't that boy with the curly hair taller?

Maggie: No, that's just his hair.

Eion: Cho! Cho! Cho!

And the sign that the apocalypse is near...

Tim: I was listening to Morrigan's Camp Rock disc and it is pretty good.

Back to School Night or Why I am Drinking on a Wednesday

Tonight was back to school night. You go, meet teachers, find out about the class' routine etc. I've gone in the past when Tim was not working but skipped last year only to hear about it for a full calendar year from Morrigan. All the other kids were there. We were the only people in the whole school who didn't go. So when it came around this year, I figured we had better go though it was against my better judgement as Tim was working and the kids had be outnumbered 3 to 1. The Reader's Digest version is it went as badly as I anticipated and then some. All the gory details below....

We arrived a few minutes early and found some seats. The kids all promptly commenced to running around as though they had been raised in a barn or worse. When the assembly started, the girls mostly settled down but E kept running up and down the center aisle occasionally stopping to roll around. In the endless minuted that ensued, Morrigan army crawled, in a pink dress, under the folding chairs, Maggie started crying that she wanted to go home and Eion walked up to me naked from the waist down, holding his pants and underwear proudly telling me he used the bathroom. [Incidentally, there was a bathroom in the back of the gym. I am hoping and praying that is where he went.] He later made a break for it and darted out the side door heading to parts unknown. I had a lapfull of Maggie so Kirsten dashed out to retrieve him. It takes a village indeed.

As we left the gym, a Mom I met in the last month saw me carrying Eion and said with a sweet smile, "So he is yours!" Look, we are not happy about it either.

Now, there were many parents there without kids, clearly the smartest option but even the other kids there were so much better behaved than my crew. Jefferson Street Realist, LBB and The Boy were right behind me and we didn't hear a peep out of him. They did have him double teamed which helps but I didn't even hear a threat issued. Granted, I could have missed something since I was dressing my kids....

We then proceeded to the classrooms where my kids refused to sit still, be quiet or otherwise act like the darling children they should be. They were distracting for all and generally kept me from gaining even one piece of useful knowledge for the night. When we had to leave, Maggie lost it entirely and started sobbing. So straight home and immediately off to bed complete with a rant from me (which in all likelihood was just a bit over the top) about how awful their behaviour was at an event they made me attend. The girls seemed remorseful or at least didn't like the yelling. Eion climbed in bed and told me, "You can leave now."

Me, I'm having a big glass of wine. And then I am going to work on the school directory. So if your listing is wrong, you know why.

No, No, No

While it would seem that the return of school, for which I am so grateful, would leave me with so much time on my hands that I should be lazing about on the sofa catching up on Burn Notice and eating bon bons, this is not at all the case. During school, I am (happily) at golf and tennis clinics, trying to fit in work outs, running errands and occasionally going to work. After school all the kids' activities are back on: tennis, ballet, piano, cheerleading and girl scouts. And just to top it off, in spite of my solemn vow not to overextend myself this year, I am still working on and, when forced to, attending meetings for PTA, RAMA, Junior League, and MSVA. Not a bon bon in sight.

And I am knee deep in planning Maggie's 5th birthday party, coming up in about a week and a half. Again I have lost the battle and will be having the party chez nous with a Strawberry Shortcake theme which is especially awesome considering a good 75% of the attendees are boys. I guess Mags figures she survived all their pirate parties so they are due.

But in the good news department, everyone loves school and Eion is totally using the potty and does not seem to be on the road to expulsion. And he is really being a good guy lately. No, stop laughing, I mean it! So while feeling run a bit ragged the past few weeks, it is in a good way. But I am for sure going to be on fewer committees next fall. I mean it this time.

Family Pictures

Family pictures we took this summer. Courtesy of http://stefanieweberphotography.com.

Low Key Weekend

After a hectic week, we weren't up to much this weekend. Since Tim was working afternoons, the clones and I invaded Tom & Kirsten's yesterday for martinis and the US Open (well the kids were more oj and Pokemon.) While I was indifferent about the Djokovic/Federer match, not particularly caring who won, I was keenly interested in the Nadal/Murray match that followed. Tom had the audacity to cheer against Nadal. Really. How are you cheering for this:

with his dull outfit and scraggly facial hair. Over this:

And let's not get stared on the arms......



At some point in the last year, a lightbulb turned on for Tim and he commented to me, "You're picking your favorite players based on looks!" Uhh, Yeah. While I hate to be that shallow, in this situation, I am that girl. Roger Federer is is great player and all but he bears more than a passing resemblance to Darlene's boyfriend on Rosanne.


See? You never thought about it but have to admit it is there. Anyhoo, the match was rained out after the second set so it is more tennis tonight. Bring on the eye candy! Oh, and the tennis too.