Friday, October 31, 2008

I Love Halloween

I know that many people are Christmas or Easter people. Some love the 4th of July. Yours truly has always been a Halloween girl. Love the costumes, the trick or treating, the decorations, though I was told today by my children that my house and car were not nearly spooky enough. So with great delight I looked forward to the Club's Halloween party, which was last night. Morrigan was Cleopatra (did you think she would be anything shy of a queen?), Maggie a Renaissance Princess, and Eion a pirate.

E took a bit of strong arming to get into costume. I had to threaten him with no candy. Sorry kiddo, this is Mommy's favorite holiday and if you can't show the spirit, I'm withholding the treats. Get on board and tell your shrink about it later when you are a Halloween hating adult, lurking in your house with the lights off, yelling "Get off my damn lawn you brats!" at the neighbor children. But I digress.....

Eion rallied and was delighted that candy was handed out the very first thing. He then proceeded to eat nothing but junk and run wild with a pack of other boys in what I assume was some sort of battle.

They had a clown who did face painting and balloon animals as well as an inflatable laser tag maze that engulfed almost the entire ballroom. The kids had so much fun we barely saw them. When we did, high levels of sugar were readily apparent as demonstrated by Maggie's very drunken sorority girl pose:

Can't you just hear it, "Sarah, I love you so much! We'll be best friends forever. Hiccup!"

There were many tears when we had to leave but overall, one of the beat years yet! And more fun Friday with classroom parties and trick or treating!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Three Little Ghosts' Favorite Drink

Morrigan had an assignment for which she had to describe the recipe for the three little ghosts' favorite drink. Her ingredient list: potatoes, chicken, carrots, tomatoes, salt, pepper, olive oil, and pig ribs. While leaning toward soup as opposed to drink, it doesn't sound too bad!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Grandparents' Day

Last week the girls' school had Grandparents' Day. Overall, I find this to be an enormous scam designed to increase book fair sales. But seeing as the kids who are without grandparents always look devastated, I called our "Roanoke Grandma," Connie, to attend (the biological grandparents are far north and far south.)

The girls were very excited and wanted to get bouquets of flowers for Connie. We went to Maggie's classroom first. After all the kids introduced their guests, we relocated upstairs to Morrigan's room. A few minutes went by and I got the feeling something was missing. Indeed something was missing and it was Eion! I darted downstairs to retrieve him only to find he had taken over Maggie's seat, absconded with her neighbor's cookie and drink, and didn't look as though he missed us at all. Love the self reliant kids.

In spite of my general irritation with the event, both kids and Connie enjoyed themselves. And she bought them all books at the book fair.

What a Day

This morning did not have the best start. When we got to school, Morrigan asked me, "Where's my backpack?" The answer was, of course, where you left it on the kitchen floor at home. So we dropped off Maggie and drove back home to get the backpack. When I pulled in to the driveway, Morrigan ran in the house and Tim came out to let me know he was called that morning for jury duty. Super! As we were leaving, Tim asked Morrigan if she had her head. She gave him the you are a moron look as she told him "Of course I have it. It's attached." I think she missed his humor.

Since Tim was off to do his civic duty, I had to take Eion to school which happened to be at exactly the same time as the cats' Vet appointment. I didn't realize until this morning that the carrier which fit them both well in August might be just a bit snug for two cats now. As it was too late to remedy the situation, I was forced to cram them both in, looking very much like a PETA ad against suspect animal living conditions.

To top it all off, the Vet said my visit was pointless and we hadn't really needed to come in. Humph. And Tim was chosen for jury duty. Really, who in their right mind would choose him?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Future Plans

In the car the other day, the girls were discussing their future employment plans. Maggie wants to "Be a Banker, retire, be a Mommy and work on the directory." [Pretty much the career path of your truly.] I was about to recommend aiming a bit higher when I realized I am pretty darn happy. Certainly not lighting the business world on fire but who cares? Go for it Mags. I can only hope that your life makes you as happy as mine makes me. Though after the nasty complaints I got regarding the directory, you may want to skip that part.

Morrigan is still firm in her resolve to be a Hollywood Starlet. Naturally.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

This Weekend Sucked

Let me be the first to say, and likely the only as at last check, I am the one and only commentator on my life, that my weekend sucked. In a very big way. I woke up Friday with a nasty head cold. I alternately rested on the sofa and in bed hoping to rally but was forced to cancel couples poker that night. Boo, hiss!

Saturday I logged more time on the sofa than in bed but the net result was about the same. We were invited to a big Halloween party that night and I kept thinking if I tried hard enough, I would be well enough to go. I would rise off the sofa only to return minutes later, dizzy and head throbbing. Eventually, I was forced to face the inevitable and cancel the sitter. My sadness was increased by the fact that I was letting my team costume members down. Tom was Brett Michaels and Kirsten, Ann & I were floozies from Rock of Love. Tim went anyway as the Joker. What was amazing was the entire costume came from his actual wardrobe. We only had to buy green hairspray and white facepaint.

Today I awoke feeling markedly better yet overall felt as though I had been out drinking. Tim said I must have a sympathy hangover. Thanks buddy. Rub it in that I missed the party.

The kids had several birthday parties today so we spent most of the day shuttling between them. While the girls were at a High School Musical 3 birthday party, which they loved saying they were so into HSM3 that they couldn't stand it, Tim, E and I went to Wal-Mart to return my unused Halloween costume. I figured I can't really go trick or treating with my kids as a $5 a night hooker. This particular Wal-Mart has a McDonalds in the back so we got Tim and Eion some lunch. The cashier gave me three happy meal toys for the boy saying "He's just the cutest thing ever." Turns out before I arrived at the counter, Eion had invited her over to play Rock Band.

After we picked up the girls we headed to birthday party number 2. We ultimately had to bail on party #3 as I was not operating at full capacity and needed to return to the couch.

And while most of my plans were dashed, I did work my way through my entire TiVo backlog of shows which makes it all worth it, right?

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I'm Out

Feeling so crappy. Can't form coherent thoughts. Weekend full of activities spoiled by nasty head cold. Back soon I hope.....

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Parent Teacher Conference Call

Eion's teacher called last night for our phone conversation. Went something like this.....

Ms. Shelly: Did Eion tell you about his day today?
Me: Uh, no. He mostly just meows at home.
MS: He did really well today. I'm sure you know how smart he is.
Me: You're calling about Eion right?
MS: He knows all the days of the week in order.
Me: Really? [As an aside, I asked him the days of the week this morning and his answer was "No."]
MS: Sometimes he needs help pulling up his pants after he uses the potty.
Me: He can pull up his pants?
MS: But when he needs help and we can't get to him quickly enough, he just comes out into class with his pants down. He doesn't have allot of inhibitions.
Me: Well there's a fair bit of nudity in our house...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Parenting 101

Children making you crazy asking "why?" over and over? Try singing all your answers to the tune of Don't Fear the Reaper. After a while, they stop!

Monday, October 20, 2008


The public school system has deemed that 2nd graders have far more homework than I think necessary. So while Morrigan and I have to slog through it all, Maggie and Eion often have to, with varying degrees of success, entertain themselves. Today's fun:

Maggie made a list of the kitties' skills which included, meowing, peeing on the bed, puking on the floor and hiding. She's not too far off really.

Then she and E "played" Rock Band. They had the guitar and mic but refused to let me turn the game on. They sang loudly and talked as if they were really playing.

Maggie: "I'll keep you my dirty little secret."
Eion: "I'm flaming. I flamed out."
Maggie: "You're back E. I saved you."

And then they argued about which song they should do next. Maggie didn't want to do In Bloom because she couldn't get all the way through it. They really have to work on their self confidence. If I were "playing" with them, I would dominate all the songs on expert!

When we finally finished the homework, the kids wanted to carve the pumpkins. Now, Tim uses Pumpkin Masters and has carved some great pumpkins in the past.

What do our kids want? "Shape faces." So we carved these beauties.

They were thrilled. With the exception of Eion who felt the pumpkins shouldn't be outside and promptly went out, picked one up and flung it on the ground. Great family fun for all.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Party Like a Rock Star

My weeks of rigorous training were all worth it last night when our Supper Club had its Rock Band Party. Say what you will Sippycups, but it was so much fun! Everyone got in the spirit and dressed the part.

Tom, Kirsten, Ann and I previewed our Rock of Love Halloween costumes. I was told in no uncertain terms that my outfit was not nearly trashy enough and was made to take a solemn vow that I would go shopping the next day for clear heeled shoes and a bright green bra.

We switched teams around and by the end of the night, most everyone had rotated through all the instruments. No one held back and it showed. When Webb started to freestyle rap in the middle of Sabotage, I thought I might wet myself. Now that's spirit!

In addition to just the score of the game, we naturally wanted style points. The clear winner being Jen, who while not necessarily having the best technical skills, brought her A game in flair.

Sadly, I added probably the least style. I prefer the drums and was subjected to much heckling for my automaton like playing.

How can you fault a girl for good posture? They compared me to the drummer in the It's a Small World ride! Sicks and stones peeps. I was second only to Ann (and she was a real drummer in high school) and she didn't have to deal with jests from the crowd.

We finally had to stop playing around midnight, much to Kirsten's relief. Now I just feel this void as I have nothing for which to train. Maybe we'll have to have a Rock Band II release party.

Friday, October 17, 2008

And the Winner is.....

Eion has ceased to use a spoon when eating his Cheerios. He wants to "eat like a kitty." Great! He got a low score on behaviour at school today. When I asked him why he didn't have his listening ears on, he said "I don't have any!" At least we have found some common ground.

Morrigan insisted on wearing her father's golf hat to school today because she was going to "look cool."

At least it covers up her hair which she colored pink with a highlighter the other day.

[In all fairness, the desire to alter her locks may be genetic. I went through a brief but colorful phase that included (at separate times) red (and cut like Cyndi Lauper, good one), black, pink streaks, and that time I had blond hair and dyed the bottom 3 inches black like the lead singer of Berlin.]

So Maggie, you win the best kid of the day award. Granted, the competition was weak....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


As a parent, I have been lucky enough to see more disgusting things than you can count. But leave it to the cats to be so disgusting even I couldn’t take it. I was up early packing lunches when the cats came into the kitchen. I hear one retching and realize it is puking. So I am thinking, terrific. I really wanted to clean up cat vomit before breakfast. But then along comes kitty #2 (I’m not sure which one is the pukee), and eats it! And then I was thrown into a mix of emotions which I had never before experienced all at once: utter and complete revulsion, relief that I didn’t have to clean it up, just the tiniest bit of guilt that I felt relieved. It was really all too much for 6:30am.


Morrigan had to turn in her self nomination form for Odyssey of the Mind today. The last item was a word association drill. She had five minutes to fill in any and all words that came to mind when she thought of “catch.” Her list included: leaves, butterflies, cats, and ladybugs. Thinking we were missing something VERY obvious, I prompted, “Are you sure you don’t want to list anything else?” “Oh yeah, I forgot one.” What she wrote: her sister. Why not. Have I mentioned we are not holding out for an athletic scholarship?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Quote of the Day From Morrigan

Kirsten was kind enough to take Morrigan after Chess Club so I could run Maggie to ballet. For this, she was rewarded with some terrific Morrigan quotes.

"Where is my afternoon snack? I usually get one after school."

"Do you use credit cards? Because you should know they are evil." When assured that they did not use them, Morrigan followed with, "Do you listen to Dave Ramsey? He can tell you all about evil credit cards."

And lastly, "I don't want to play outside. I'm kind of an indoor girl."

She managed to fit this all in less than an hour. Sweet.

Lake on Sunday

Tim's Mom & Dad left on Sunday morning but before they did, we managed to get Doug to try Rock Band.

Despite our harassment, Nancy would not. They were at a distinct disadvantage not knowing any of the songs which I found amazing. While I didn't expect them to rock out to NIN or anything, isn't it mandatory for all of humanity to know Won't Get Fooled Again and Gimme Shelter? We'll let them slide....

Sunday we went to friends Greg & April's lake place for a beautiful afternoon. The water seemed cold to me but all the kids got in to one extent or another.

And the Dads were good sports and canoed all the kids around the lake (while Moms relaxed with Tammis and Bud Lite Lime of course.)

For reasons unclear to anyone over the age of 7, climbing in Jack's cage was all the rage as well.

As far as Sundays go, it was as close to perfect as you can get!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Pumpkin Patch

On Saturday, we loaded up the whole family and headed out to Layman's pumpkin patch and corn maze. I was a wee bit concerned as it seemed expensive (last year E was free and I went without Tim so I only had to pay one adult admission) but my fears were quickly laid to rest as the kids ran wild on the farm having a great time.

While they liked the cow train,

the duck race,
the corn cannon,

the pig pen,

the hayride and pumpkin patch,

the favored activities by far were the mini corn maze (the large one was too big for us) and the corn crib.

The girls spread their time fairly evenly. Eion, on the other hand, spent a good 2 hours of our 3 1/2 hour visit digging in corn kernels. He also looped in and out of the mini corn maze drawing as many strangers into his day as possible. We were standing back a bit but could still see where he was. If he lost a shoe, he would recruit whoever was available to replace it. Then as far as we could tell, he was playing some sort of live action Jenga, pulling pieces of the maze out and bringing them over and over to the same guy who in all likelihood was wondering to whom E belonged.

The kids' inexplicable fascination with corn kernels left us with ample free time to play "What About That Guy?" I LOVE some of the fashion you see at these things. Inappropriate footwear is always good. You are headed to the pumpkin patch (and it has been raining for days.) What do you get out of the closet? High heeled sandals of course!

And you can't beat the kid in full on Darth Vader:

[I figure I can make all the fun I want of that one. I had a kid who lived in a Thomas the Train costume for 6 months.]

But I think I prefer Darth to the girl who seems to have raided the Coyote Ugly wardrobe department. My favorite troop was these folks:

Nothing says fall family fun like an outfit channeling Kid Rock. What you can't see is that the gal next to him had a black wife beater that said "Hooters" on it. It is so good!

Regrettably, I couldn't get a shot of the guy who was posing for pictures by the truck filled with pumpkins and gourds. He was finding all the phallic shaped ones and holding them in a suggestive manner while his friends snapped photos. Because you know that is good, clean fun.

While my kids and I may have had different sources of amusement, we all had a good time. Eion sobbed uncontrollably as we dragged him from the corn crib and to the car. He refused to pose for one last picture crying, "I need to go back!"